Week 50: Burnout, Big Moves and Listening to Your Gut – Simon de los Rios on Starting Over in Germany

00:00:00:

00:00:03: Muy buenas tardes y bienvenidos to PlusFortyNine.

00:00:06: I am Siri Darteaga.

00:00:07: Glad to have you all with me.

00:00:09: December always feels like a month of contrast.

00:00:13: Quiet streets, busy minds, cold air, warm rooms, and a lot of Christmas shopping.

00:00:19: It is a moment when Germany slows down and speeds up at the same time.

00:00:23: So today we're going to be taking a clear and thoughtful look at what's shaping this week.

00:00:29: From politics to culture to personal stories with Simón.

00:00:33: And hopefully some of them will make you have a better sense of life at the end of this year.

00:00:40: Let's start.

00:00:42: We begin with Chancellor Friedrich Metz, who has acknowledged, finally, communication errors in the recent Stadtbilddebate.

00:00:52: In an eye-to-eye discussion, Matt said he explained his earlier comments poorly and would express them more precisely today.

00:01:01: Still, hissed by his core point, many German cities need renewal and governing, he admitted, has been harder than expected.

00:01:11: On migration, Matt stressed that Germany must remain a country of immigration, noting her regions like the Ruhr benefit historically from it.

00:01:20: But he insisted on clear expectations.

00:01:24: Those who want to stay must integrate.

00:01:27: Those who won't must leave.

00:01:31: On defense, he argued Germany must remain strong enough to deter conflict, defending current spending levels and not fully ruling out discussions on conscriptions.

00:01:42: A major update for international workers is the federal government and Germany states have officially committed to create the new work and stay agency.

00:01:53: The goal is to make it easier and faster for skilled workers to come to Germany, especially through the digital recognition of foreign qualifications.

00:02:03: By mid-twenty-twenty-six, all states plan to allow documents to be submitted digitally.

00:02:11: is leading pilot programs, including a fully digital recognition procedure and an AU AI tool.

00:02:18: The agency will focus on process optimization, digitalization and centralization, aiming to reduce bureaucracy and support employers facing talent shortages.

00:02:30: In Brussels, Food Watch says the AU is proposing a ban on terms like veggie burger and tofu sausage, since this is unlawful.

00:02:40: arguing it contradicts previously with EU court rulings.

00:02:45: A Forster poll shows that eighty-four percent of Germans think this ban is so unnecessary.

00:02:52: And finally, statutory health insurers will announce that it zusatz by track for twenty twenty six this month.

00:03:00: The base rate stays at fourteen dot six percent, but individual surcharges may rise.

00:03:07: So keep an eye out for those updates.

00:03:11: If there is one ritual that defines a German Christmas, it's the Weihnachtsbaum, but not the way many expects

00:03:19: expect.

00:03:20: In Germany, the Christmas trees is not something you put up in the early December or when Coca-Cola starts saying Christmas is around the corner.

00:03:31: But traditionally, it appears on the twenty-fourth, often in the afternoon, after the hours of quiet preparation behind closed doors.

00:03:40: For centuries, the Weihnachtsbaum wasn't part of Advent at all.

00:03:45: It belonged only to Christmas itself, a symbol of arrival, celebration, and new light.

00:03:52: That's why families kept it hidden from children and everything was perfect.

00:03:56: Imagine the scene.

00:03:58: The living room is closed.

00:04:01: Parents are whispering and arranging branches, while the smell of pine spreads throughout the house.

00:04:08: Children hover in the hallways, forbidden to enter.

00:04:12: Inside, adults are decorating the tree with real candles, yes, actual flames and la meta, the silver tinsel that Germans adore, but vacuum cleaners fear.

00:04:27: When the door finally opens and the candles are lit, The moment is pure magic, warm light, soft music, presence beneath the branches.

00:04:37: My uncle actually even had his harmonica there, so it was very magical to get into the living room and see him, and we all started to sing, which was an amazing tradition.

00:04:53: Today, Of course there are regulations and pets and practically a lot of families are now using lead candles, but la meta has never, never fallen out of favor.

00:05:07: even though the flavor is not there anymore since environmental and socially, but on the other side is something very emotional and it's hard to the tradition that remains.

00:05:18: Many families are still decorating the tree on the twenty-fourth and many still keep it a secret from the children until the big reveal.

00:05:28: For expats, this can feel a little bit surprising.

00:05:32: But the German Christmas tree isn't a month long decoration.

00:05:36: It is a moment, a surprise, a symbol that Christmas has fully arrived.

00:05:43: And even though traditions evolve, eco ornaments, early decoration days, artificial trees, one idea remains deeply German.

00:05:52: The Christmas tree belongs to Christmas Eve.

00:05:55: Today's episode is with one of, to be honest, I love this culture.

00:06:02: I always feel as a Mexican, very represented every time that I have someone from Colombia and we haven't had anybody from Colombia in the last couple of episodes.

00:06:12: So Simon, Simone is today with us.

00:06:15: Welcome.

00:06:16: Thank you.

00:06:17: Ciscerate is great to be here and I appreciate the opportunity.

00:06:22: So let's start with a basic question.

00:06:26: Why Germany?

00:06:28: Why Germany?

00:06:29: That is a great question and one that I still don't know what I'm doing here but I'm loving every minute of it.

00:06:37: It all started because when I was I was living in Miami at the time and I needed to move because there were no corporate offices for me to keep growing in my previous role and so they gave me the opportunity to travel to different places and so I started interviewing for Japan and I was why would I want to stay in the US when I can travel abroad and this company offers that opportunity?

00:07:00: and so I started looking at different places and within Europe there were five or six choices.

00:07:05: And I was like, what is the hardest choice that I can make?

00:07:12: Because it was that hard that we're going to be having this conversation today.

00:07:17: Absolutely.

00:07:18: I was like, I feel like I'm still very young and I still have time to learn and grow.

00:07:23: And so why not go for something that is... the language, the only language that I don't speak out of all the other options, the country that is the coldest out of all the options, and the country that I've been to only four days previously in my life.

00:07:36: And so this is this is how I ended up here.

00:07:41: And before that, as you were in Miami, as your accent actually betrays you, because I think in Latin America, we don't hear the English, the English English very often.

00:07:53: And people always think when It happens to me a lot when I'm here that people are going like, oh, but you sound American.

00:08:01: I'm like, well, yeah, we have a big guy just on the northern border.

00:08:05: And yeah, that's America.

00:08:08: So we do have the American accent, and you definitely do have an American accent.

00:08:12: How long were you in Miami?

00:08:17: I was in Miami for about, I think, fifteen or so years.

00:08:22: But I do have to say that and you being from Mexico, you probably know this, but a lot of us consider Miami to be the capital of Latin America.

00:08:31: And it is funny because every time there's a crisis in any country in Latin America, you get an influx of those people from that country into Miami.

00:08:38: And so Miami's one of those cities like Berlin where you just don't really speak English.

00:08:44: Like here.

00:08:45: you don't speak German in Berlin.

00:08:46: You don't speak English in Miami.

00:08:48: And so I actually lost my English for the most part when I was living in Miami because I never used it.

00:08:54: And I just had to like relearn it again.

00:08:57: after moving back to Germany.

00:09:00: But I was in Miami for about fifteen or twenty years before moving here.

00:09:05: Wow, so you moved outside of Columbia long term ago?

00:09:11: Yeah, we moved when I was young and with my family and my parents and my brother.

00:09:17: and I did college and university in Florida and then I was lucky enough to do my Erasmus in Paris and I also lived in Lisbon for a little bit where I perfected my Portuguese.

00:09:29: Wow, so you're a world citizen.

00:09:33: I do have to say I'm very lucky and very thankful for the things that I had life has brought.

00:09:40: And it's amazing that you now have the opportunity to live in Berlin and Bring us your knowledge.

00:09:47: and this is a part where I'm asking what do you do?

00:09:51: I am a life and career coach and I help high-performance individuals navigate transitions with clarity and with structure and So whether somebody's going through a shift in Reinvention a moment of life changes or misalignment.

00:10:07: I support them through that process And I was, and I leveraged that with about fifteen years of experience in leadership and operations and manufacturing, which I did.

00:10:20: And I found that for me, this is not really a career, but it's really a vocation.

00:10:24: This is something that I truly and genuinely love, and I'm super happy that I was able to find this after going through multiple sabbaticals.

00:10:34: after five-year batches of getting burned out with work, going on a sabbatical, and finding what truly is what I enjoy.

00:10:45: How complicated is that?

00:10:47: Or I mean, now that you're in Berlin, you probably have a lot of migrants or international people coming to you, because once we migrate, we sort of start all over again.

00:10:59: and we start questioning ourselves and what are we going to be doing next?

00:11:04: or what should we do next?

00:11:08: If I would be your next consultancy, how can I explain myself?

00:11:16: How does the process work?

00:11:21: I think if we look at it from like a life angle, which is the one that I'm really passionate about, is really understanding what really motivates us, what excites us and what we're passionate about.

00:11:33: And I think that a lot of us, we're so used to thinking with our head that we forget to listen to our intuition and to our gut and to our heart.

00:11:43: And that is something that I think society and educational, traditional education has drilled out of us.

00:11:49: And so since we're start growing up in the school system, they teach us to think only with our head.

00:11:56: And thinking with our head is great, but we tend to lose sight of who we truly are and what we truly want to do with life.

00:12:02: And so I would say going back to the things that are exciting, and one of the things that I've been doing lately that has been just wonderful is I make decisions based on the level of excitement that they bring.

00:12:15: So whatever is the most exciting option, then that's the one I usually go with.

00:12:20: And that's how I know also that is coming not so much from the head, but from my intuition and my heart.

00:12:26: Intuition, I think that is a very, very important and powerful world.

00:12:33: As you say, we never really hear about our intuition.

00:12:36: And I think then you open up Instagram and somehow it looks like everybody's doing it great.

00:12:44: And you're the only one who's messing it up.

00:12:48: And then it kind of, I don't know, it's this eternal comparison.

00:12:52: And then the more you see yourself with other people, the less you hear yourself.

00:13:01: Is it better maybe to sometimes do a sabbatical of Instagram, LinkedIn, or how can we cope with the noise outside with what our intuition is saying?

00:13:17: I think you bring such a great point and a lot of things of how disconnected we really are.

00:13:25: So in this third sabbatical that happened to me, so the long story short is... For the past fifteen years of my career, I was getting a burnout every five years almost on the dot without even planning it.

00:13:37: And so I took a sabbatical, went to Nepal or to Thailand or wherever it was.

00:13:42: And the last one I went to Indonesia, very lucky that I was able to do that.

00:13:46: And I did a sudden retreat.

00:13:49: And I realized that I wasn't really connected to my job or to what I was doing.

00:13:54: and it's very hard to predict the future but it's very easy to look back and see the trends.

00:13:59: and so the trends were telling me that every five years I was getting a burnout and so if I kept doing what I was doing then I can expect that to happen for the rest of my career.

00:14:08: and I just didn't want to do that any longer.

00:14:10: and so I decided to go on a silent retreat.

00:14:13: and when you go silent for extended days you start listening to other things and you start really listening to yourself.

00:14:24: and when you do that a lot of things just open up.

00:14:29: and I think that that was the wonderful thing that happened to me where I was able to go on this experience and understand that I need to come back to leave my job and start something totally new.

00:14:40: and I had that moment.

00:14:41: I didn't know what that was and so it took going back to childhood and to understand what it was that I was excited about to make this career change.

00:14:51: And I was lucky enough to also work with coaches myself who supported me in that journey.

00:14:57: You're hitting a nerve.

00:15:00: You're so hitting a nerve.

00:15:02: I think burnout, it's something that happens a lot and going completely silent is also very complicated, especially I would say, at least for me and I know that a lot of people have been going through the same process that you move to another country and then It's kind of a survival mode.

00:15:24: You need to get an apartment, get your visa, get any job.

00:15:31: And sometimes it doesn't even, it's not the one that you want.

00:15:34: And then the contract didn't extend.

00:15:37: So you have to get another job.

00:15:38: So at what point can we actually stop and say like, okay, I will try to find something different that might give me a little more peace.

00:15:51: Or should I just keep paying the bills?

00:15:56: Because, I mean, let's face it, not everybody has the privilege of moving to Germany and getting the job.

00:16:05: I mean, we don't speak the perfect language, we don't speak the perfect German, or it is not very common to see outside the startup world that a lot of places that we have place or... It's not the right wording, but there's not a lot of place for migrants.

00:16:27: At least that's how sometimes it feels like.

00:16:31: So it is not only about the noise outside, but also inside this feeling that I need to get that job because I need to pay, I need to get that visa.

00:16:44: And yes, I will get to my fifteenth restaurant or my I will work for an hotel, I don't mind how much they pay and it's kind of like a very complicated circle to get out of it.

00:17:00: Yeah and I think you brought something which is critical which is that we all have like responsibilities and bills to pay and dues and that is that is part of part of life.

00:17:13: but I think that at the same time since we all have that at different degrees we also all have a little bit of time at the end of the day, right?

00:17:22: So we have to go through the paperwork and the almendam, like all these bureaucratic things in life and finding the job and doing the interviews and sometimes struggling with bills.

00:17:32: But we also have moments in our day or in our week where we can just kind of separate ourselves from what we're doing and from all the chaos.

00:17:41: and do a little walk in the park, connect with nature or do a little meditation or just time for ourselves.

00:17:46: It's very easy to be drawn to the phone or to the screen time and just kind of dissipate our brain and forget about the things that are struggling, that are making us struggle.

00:17:59: And we try to get that time from things that are external to us.

00:18:04: I think what I'm calling here is Whenever that situation is, instead of trying to find that pleasure or that numbness externally, to look internally and just find that calmness within you.

00:18:16: Because regardless of the situation that's happening outside, if you are calm inside, that's really what matters.

00:18:25: And so, yeah, it's a journey for all of us.

00:18:30: And I think the beauty about exploring that is... is being true for to yourself, be humble and just try to enjoy the process as hard as it is in the moment.

00:18:47: There's something that I read that I wanted to share because it helped me a lot and is that if you think about different cultures and different countries and the smile is one of those things that is universal.

00:19:02: So you can go to any country, be in any corner of the world, and you smile to somebody, they know exactly the feeling that you're transmitting to them.

00:19:11: And if you create a habit of smiling more often, it'll automatically calm your nervous system.

00:19:17: It is insanely.

00:19:18: Next time you're mad, today something happened which I was not very happy about, and I just smiled, and the pressure from my... shoulders completely dissipated.

00:19:31: You cannot be mad and smile at the same time and actually the smile kind of takes over.

00:19:37: So yeah, it's just an invitation to find that moment internally even though the ocean outside might be very rough.

00:19:48: If you're internally very calm, it'll be a nice shift.

00:19:52: So powerful what you're saying, and I'm very thankful for this conversation because at the end of the day We already know everything that is happening Regarding the political situation in Germany.

00:20:07: We already know what it's happening regarding Anmeldungen and all of this.

00:20:12: but we do need to have a little bit of hope and also this this fire inside of us to understand that we can keep going and things are going to be fine at some point.

00:20:28: My journey to Germany was, I would say, with a lot of highs, but also the biggest dropped I could have ever anticipated because I came here as a diplomat.

00:20:44: I was the press secretary for the Mexican Embassy for eight years and then Out of the blue.

00:20:50: I just had two months two weeks to go outside.

00:20:54: I mean they Determinated me and I had two weeks to in theory get outside of Germany so going from being a diplomat to actually not having a visa and everybody that was supposed to be your friend or everybody that already knew who you were, what you were doing in Germany, suddenly they couldn't care less because you were not longer relevant.

00:21:19: It was a hard pill to swallow.

00:21:22: Nonetheless, I decided that I wanted to stay in Germany, especially for just the idea that I can actually be in this country and the the the security, you know, the possibility, the security to walk in the middle of the night and nothing will happen, especially as a woman.

00:21:42: And I love the part that I can be as Latin as I want to be in Germany, because what you were saying, smiling, I love to just come up and smile to everybody and be this Latina and be this the flavor to to the German.

00:21:58: gray areas.

00:21:59: I love it because in Mexico, I am the very German one and I'm not that German.

00:22:05: I like the sprinkles and I like to be loud and I like to hug people and smile.

00:22:09: I smile a lot.

00:22:11: And I just wanted to put this in reference because at the end of the day, as I keep saying and every time we have this conversation is that migration is a very complicated process.

00:22:23: Nobody really tells you and it's your process and everybody comes in different types.

00:22:31: and of course I have heard this oh but you came inside the diplomat and I said yes but then I didn't had anything else and I had already bills and I already had to pay my next rent and I didn't have anything and going standing up was not that easy.

00:22:51: yet there's always the possibility of do that.

00:22:56: And I think what you do, give people like me, you weren't there when this happened to me, but you probably would have been a great asset to me at that point.

00:23:08: People like you that are here that understand what it is like to migrate and on the other side also the importance of the silence and the going inward and getting that.

00:23:20: in your daily hectic.

00:23:22: This is finding something that makes you happy.

00:23:25: It's so important.

00:23:27: Yeah, so it's great.

00:23:28: Thank you for sharing that story.

00:23:29: That is actually so inspiring.

00:23:32: And something that you're saying, I love being Latin and smiling.

00:23:38: That must be, that sometimes is horrors in Berlin, right?

00:23:41: Because you rarely see people smiling at you.

00:23:44: But I think you gotta combat that with an even bigger smile, all right?

00:23:49: the frowns and the I get I get.

00:23:52: um

00:23:53: you like it at the end of the day they like it.

00:23:56: I think they do.

00:23:56: yeah yeah it's funny because I think there hasn't been a day since I was has been in here in Germany where I don't get a regaño I don't know how to say that in English but

00:24:05: I am

00:24:07: me regaña once a day in Germany for anything I do.

00:24:10: it's funny.

00:24:11: it's either like the the red light which i'm stopping at the red lights or i've already have two tickets of riding my bicycle like

00:24:20: no you just have

00:24:21: two don't

00:24:22: worry you will get to twenty.

00:24:24: not true we must follow rules but still

00:24:28: true true but yeah what i was saying is that like your story is so inspiring and it's also a great reminder that we sometimes forget the moments where we thought we were we weren't sure what the next step was or what we needed to do.

00:24:44: and then you look back and you've already surpassed that right like you've already gone through.

00:24:47: you decided to to to stay here in Germany.

00:24:50: you're now putting um successful job.

00:24:53: now you're.

00:24:54: you're putting an amazing podcast where you're connecting amazing individuals.

00:24:58: i love the work that you're doing.

00:24:59: like you've already surpassed all those things and we sometimes have to go back to the past to pull those and remind ourselves that even though we might be going through like a hard moment right now we have gone that in the past as well and we have gone forward with it with more integrity and are probably in a better place right now.

00:25:17: And so the future is going to bring ups and downs but we also always have to remember the hard ones.

00:25:25: we had to project future on

00:25:28: those.

00:25:31: Beautiful.

00:25:33: How can we find you?

00:25:37: You can find me on LinkedIn.

00:25:39: My name is Simon Delos Rios.

00:25:41: I also have a website and I do a forty-five minute free consultation for everybody, anybody who's interested.

00:25:49: For me, it's all about being human and I think especially like in this age of artificial intelligence, community intelligence is important, connecting with others and that human aspect is fundamental.

00:26:06: Amazing.

00:26:06: Um, before I let you go, um, next year, I'm hoping to start doing again, surviving Berlin workshops.

00:26:15: And there's one thing that I normally do at the end of this workshop.

00:26:20: And so for those who are hearing us today, um, just put yourself, it doesn't matter where you are in front of, um, just anywhere where you feel most comfortable and, um, realize that You made it.

00:26:36: It doesn't matter what lies beyond or lies behind for today.

00:26:42: You have made it.

00:26:44: And you have successfully migrated.

00:26:49: And for that, that is the greatest achievement ever.

00:26:53: And today, that's why we're gonna applaud you because you're a fighter, because you're a migrant, and because you have done it.

00:27:02: You're

00:27:06: doing this!

00:27:07: We're doing this.

00:27:08: Somehow

00:27:08: we're doing this.

00:27:09: All of us immigrants here, it's amazing.

00:27:12: It's hard to be an immigrant, but we have to be proud of that.

00:27:17: And it's a responsibility as well with the country that is receding us, with our fellow citizens and just everybody in society that we're being part of.

00:27:31: Yeah.

00:27:31: That's a huge responsibility towards Germany as well.

00:27:34: And I think they do need a little bit of a papachos, a little more hugging, a little more smiles, because they have had it rough.

00:27:44: And sometimes we forget that it's not that long ago that this was another country.

00:27:53: I mean, there were two countries inside of one and they're still trying to find out what it is like to be a German today.

00:28:00: So they also need us.

00:28:02: Absolutely, yeah.

00:28:03: I'm super thankful for Germany for receiving me and I'm learning so much.

00:28:08: It's such an amazing place.

00:28:10: And just even walking in Berlin, you feel the amount of the history and their ability to embrace us as well.

00:28:17: Yeah, thankful.

00:28:20: Simon, muchísimas gracias.

00:28:23: We're

00:28:27: gonna now go to Simon, who's gonna be doing the Ask a German part, of course.

00:28:33: So stay tuned.

00:28:36: All right.

00:28:37: The question I have is, it always, I found this so interesting when I first got to Germany because I'd never seen this anywhere before.

00:28:45: But the fact that the beds have two different blankets, is something that I just find odd.

00:28:53: but really the question for me is the square pillows.

00:28:56: This is something that I just do not understand.

00:28:59: These pillows are about a meter by a meter.

00:29:04: They take up a quarter over a third of a bed and our head is just small.

00:29:10: Like why can it be like a rectangular regular pillow like in most civilized countries?

00:29:16: and you have these Square, very uncomfortable pillows.

00:29:20: If somebody can please help me understand what's happening here.

00:29:24: Where is the German engineering, the Audis and the Mercedes-Benz and the BMWs and the Porsche's engineers coming in and helping us solve this massive misunderstanding that I think Germans have?

00:29:37: Hi, well, I would say because a German pillow is not just a pillow.

00:29:44: It's an ergonomic lifestyle decision.

00:29:47: The traditional eighteen by eighteen centimeter square gives you head support, shoulder support, emotional support and possibly architectural support.

00:29:57: Germans love that you can fold it, puff it, reshape it and still make it a perfectly tidy bed.

00:30:04: A normal rectangular pillow collapses into a sad croissant by morning, unacceptable.

00:30:10: So, the big square pillow stays.

00:30:14: And that's it for this week's episode of Plus Forty-Nine.

00:30:18: If you want more simple news every morning, subscribe to our morning espresso at plusforty-nine.de.

00:30:25: Also, follow us on Instagram at plus minus forty-nine and send your questions, stories, or ideas for the show to infoatplusforty-nine.de.

00:30:36: I am Siri Darteaga, stay warm, stay curious, and see you next week on Plus Forty-Nine.

00:30:42: Hasta la próxima!